General happenings:

-Sam got hit by a tree.

-Who gets hit by a tree?

-...Sam apparently.

Personal happenings:

-Nothing all that new here.

Bets:

-How long until the colonel ends up in the infirmary again. 4:1 in favour of less than a month.

General Happenings:

-Colonel Sheppard is bugging out.

-Literally.

-I'm not going to take him out.

-Me neither.

Personal Happenings:

-Things are good. Aside from the bugging stress.

Bets:

-How long until Doctor Crane snaps. Again. 3:1 in favour of a month. 2:1 in favour of two weeks. 6:1 in favour of less than. 6:1 in favour of more than a month.

General happenings:

-Doctor Grodin's still missing.

-So's the girl.

Personal happenings:

-Novak is back and safe. I'm estatic.

-I'm just glad you've stopped moping.

Bets:

-Hermiod and Doctor McKay are long lost siblings. Odds are 3:1 in favour.

General Happenings:

-Doc Grodin's been kidnapped. We're on alert.

-Major's looking for a small team to act as security at Arkham Asylum. See Lieutenant to apply.

Personal happenings:

-Novak's hot!

-I might gag.

Bets:

-Hermiod and Doctor McKay are long lost siblings. Odds are 4:1 in favour.

-Hours of sleep Doctor McKay gets. 3:1 in favour of less than ten. 1:2 in favour of less than seven. 1:1 in favour of less than three.

-If you replaced Beckett's haggis with vegetarian haggis, would he notice? Odds are 2:1 in favour. 1:3 in favour of him gagging. No bets on his not noticing.

-Doctor Beckett reproves Major Sheppard-Sam relationship. 200:1 in favour. If proven wrong, Doctor Beckett will be richest man on Atlantis.

-Why is Major Sheppard so bipolar recently? Odds are 100:1 in favour of his girlfriend's insanity. 10:1 in favour of stress. 40:3 in favour of boredem. 50:1 in favour of a combination of the three.

General Happenings:

-Military personell should still be watching their step. Major's not himself yet.

-Lieutenant's not himself either. Too much stress. Watch your step with him, too.

Personal Happenings:

-Everyone really has to stop with the teasing about me and Novak.

-We won't, though.

-I hate you all.

Bets:

-Hermiod and Doctor McKay are long lost siblings. Odds are 3:1 in favour.

-Hours of sleep Doctor McKay gets. 1:1 in favour of less than ten. 1:3 in favour of less than seven. 2:3 in favour of less than three.

-If you replaced Beckett's haggis with vegetarian haggis, would he notice? Odds are 3:1 in favour. 1:4 in favour of him gagging. No bets on his not noticing.

-Doctor Beckett reproves Major Sheppard-Sam relationship. 200:1 in favour. If proven wrong, Doctor Beckett will be richest man on Atlantis.

-Why is Major Sheppard so bipolar recently? Odds are 50:2 in favour of his girlfriend's insanity. 20:1 in favour of stress. 20:3 in favour of boredem. 30:1 in favour of a combination of the three.

General Happenings:

-The major's depressed again.

-And snappy.

-We advise all military personell to watch your step.

Personal Happenings:

-I totally like Doctor Novak. Deal with it.

-I totally need to get laid.

Bets:

-Hermiod and Doctor McKay are long lost siblings. Odds are 2:1 in favour.

-Hours of sleep Doctor McKay gets. 3:1 in favour of less than ten. 1:2 in favour of less than seven. 2:5 in favour of less than three.

-If you replaced Beckett's haggis with vegetarian haggis, would he notice? Odds are 2:1 in favour. 1:5 in favour of him gagging. No bets on his not noticing.

-Doctor Beckett reproves Major Sheppard-Sam relationship. 200:1 in favour. If proven wrong, Major Sheppard Doctor Beckett will be richest man on Atlantis.

-Why is Major Sheppard so bipolar recently? Odds are 20:1 in favour of his girlfriend's insanity.

General happenings:

-Tube babies were born.

-Two boys, one girl.

-They're cute.

Personal happenings:

-Markham is still crushing on Novak.

-So?

Bets:

-Why is Major Sheppard so weirdly happy recently? Answered. Rosie wins pot.

-Will the tube babies become real babies and when? Answered. Doctor Simpson wins biggest pot for correct date.

-Sex of each tube. Answered. Doctors Weir and Alberts split pot.

-Hermiod and Doctor McKay are long lost siblings. Odds are 3:1 in favour.

-Hours of sleep Doctor McKay gets. 2:1 in favour of less than ten. 1:2 in favour of less than seven. 1:7 in favour of less than three.

-If you replaced Beckett's haggis with vegetarian haggis, would he notice? Odds are 3:1 in favour. 1:2 in favour of him gagging. No bets on his not noticing.

-Doctor Beckett reproves Major Sheppard-Sam relationship. 200:1 in favour. If proven wrong, Major Sheppard Doctor Beckett will be richest man on Atlantis.

General Happenings:

-The major's son took away the blue fish.

-Which is a good thing.

-In Stackhouse's world.


Personal Happenings:

-Markham's crushing on Novak.

-Stackhouse is a dirty liar.

Bets:

-Hermiod and Doctor McKay are long lost siblings. Odds are 8:1 in favour.

-Hours of sleep Doctor McKay gets. 4:1 in favour of less than ten. 5:2 in favour of less than seven. 1:3 in favour of less than three.

-If you replaced Beckett's haggis with vegetarian haggis, would he notice? Odds are 4:1 in favour. 1:1 in favour of him gagging. No bets on his not noticing.

-Doctor Beckett reproves Major Sheppard-Sam relationship. 200:1 in favour. If proven wrong, Major Sheppard Doctor Beckett will be richest man on Atlantis.

-The major's son has something worse than a cold. Odds are 10:1 in favour. 1:200 in favour of "he's faking."

-Sex of each tube. Odds are 6:1 on the blue tube being male. 5:1 on the purple and sparkly one being female. 3:1 on the one that looks like a bruise being female.

-Will the tube babies become real babies and when? Odds are 11:2 in favour of yes. Dates can be submitted to Sergeant Markham.

-Why is Major Sheppard so weirdly happy recently? Odds are 8:1 in favour of sex. 10:1 in favour of the grandkids. 15:2 in favour of both. 1:2 in favour of something else all together.

Major Sheppard's girlfriend?
Rosie.
What?
Her name's Rosie.
Oh. Rosie? Don't be mad about this one, please? It's nothing personal.
If you can tell us what it is, you'll win.
Don't bribe the major's girlfriend!
Why not? You gamble with his son!

General happenings:

-We've found out that Doctor Zelenka and the major's son's test tubes are babies.

Personal happenings:

-Doctor Novak rocks my standard issue socks.

-Doctor Novak is also childish.

Bets:

-Hermiod and Doctor McKay are long lost siblings. Odds are 9:1 in favour.

-Hours of sleep Doctor McKay gets. 6:1 in favour of less than ten. 7:2 in favour of less than seven. 4:3 in favour of less than three.

-If you replaced Beckett's haggis with vegetarian haggis, would he notice? Odds are 3:1 in favour. 4:1 in favour of him gagging. No bets on his not noticing.

-Doctor Beckett reproves Major Sheppard-Sam relationship. 200:1 in favour. If proven wrong, Major Sheppard Doctor Beckett will be richest man on Atlantis.

-The major's son has something worse than a cold. Odds are 15:2 in favour. 1:200 in favour of "he's faking."

-Sex of each tube. Odds are 2:1 on the blue tube being male. 2:1 on the purple and sparkly one being female. 1:1 on the one that looks like a bruise being female.

-Will the tube babies become real babies and when? Odds are 15:1 in favour of yes. Dates can be submitted to Sergeant Markham.

General Happenings:

-Doctor Zelenka and the major's son are out of the lab.

-And there are purple test tubes. We don't know what's in them.

-Yet.

Personal Happenings:

-Major Sheppard's ordered us to cancel or change the bet regarding his sex life.

Bets:

-Hermiod and Doctor McKay are long lost siblings. Odds are 5:2 in favour.

-Hours of sleep Doctor McKay gets. 6:1 in favour of less than ten. 7:2 in favour of less than seven. 4:3 in favour of less than three.

-If you replaced Beckett's haggis with vegetarian haggis, would he notice? Odds are 4:1 in favour. 3:1 in favour of him gagging. No bets on his not noticing.

-Major Sheppard will never get laid again. Odds are 1:1 in favour. 9:1 in favour of him looking elsewhere. 10:1 in favour of him looking to Doctor Crane. 2:1 in favour of him looking to Doctor Zelenka. 4:1 in favour of him looking to Doctor McKay. Cancelled at the Major's orders.

-Hermiod and Doctor Novak are lying about doing each other. Odds are 14:1 in favour.

-Doctor Beckett reproves Major Sheppard-Sam relationship. 200:1 in favour. If proven wrong, Major Sheppard Doctor Beckett will be richest man on Atlantis.

-The major's son has something worse than a cold. Odds are 5:2 in favour. 1:20 in favour of "he's faking."

General happenings:

Snow's stopped. Nothing else new.

Personal happenings:

Nothing new here either.

We need lives.

Or something.

Bets:

-Hermiod and Doctor McKay are long lost siblings. Odds are 4:1 in favour.

-Hours of sleep Doctor McKay gets. 4:1 in favour of less than ten. 5:2 in favour of less than seven. 5:3 in favour of less than three.

-If you replaced Beckett's haggis with vegetarian haggis, would he notice? Odds are 2:1 in favour. 1:1 in favour of him gagging. No bets on his not noticing.

-Major Sheppard will never get laid again. Odds are 1:1 in favour. 9:1 in favour of him looking elsewhere. 10:1 in favour of him looking to Doctor Crane. 2:1 in favour of him looking to Doctor Zelenka. 4:1 in favour of him looking to Doctor McKay.

-Hermiod and Doctor Novak are lying about doing each other. Odds are 12:1 in favour.

-Doctor Beckett reproves Major Sheppard-Sam relationship. 200:1 in favour. If proven wrong, Major Sheppard Doctor Beckett will be richest man on Atlantis.

General happenings:

Major Sheppard is giving us busy work now.

Doctor Zelenka and the Major's son are locked in the Doc's lab together now.

Major's giving McKay and Novak one chance go get it open before he blows it

It'll be a good show, either way.

Personal happenings:

Still not getting any.

Journal title? Still funny.

Markham? Still not funny.

Bets:

-Hermiod and Doctor Novak are doing each other. Proven. Doctor Zelenka takes biggest pot.

-Sam is actually Major Sheppard's son. Proven. Doctors Grodin and Miko take biggest pots.

-Hermiod and Doctor McKay are long lost siblings. Odds are 5:1 in favour.

-Hours of sleep Doctor McKay gets. 9:2 in favour of less than ten. 3:2 in favour of less than seven. 5:1 in favour of less than three.

-If you replaced Beckett's haggis with vegetarian haggis, would he notice? Odds are 3:1 in favour. 2:1 in favour of him gagging. No bets on his not noticing.

-Major Sheppard will never get laid again. Odds are 3:1 in favour. 4:1 in favour of him looking elsewhere. 3:1 in favour of him looking to Doctor Crane. 1:1 in favour of him looking to Doctor Zelenka. 5:1 in favour of him looking to Doctor McKay.

-Hermiod and Doctor Novak are lying about doing each other. Odds are 10:1 in favour.

-Doctor Beckett reproves Major Sheppard-Sam relationship. 200:1 in favour. If proven wrong, Major Sheppard will be richest man on Atlantis.

General happenings:

-Doctor Weir says she'll consider increasing off world missions.

-Doctor Weir also says she'll work on finding something for us soldiers to do.

-Major Sheppard and Lieutenant Ford have been running us through drills.


Personal happenings:

-Still not getting any.

-Ditto.

-Our journal has the best title ever.

-Markham ISN'T funny.

Bets:

-Hermiod and Doctor McKay are long lost siblings. Odds are 4:1 in favour.

-Hermiod and Doctor Novak are doing each other. Odds are 3:1 in favour and 6:1 in favour of "ew."

-Hours of sleep Doctor McKay gets. 10:1 in favour of less than ten. 6:1 in favour of less than seven. 4:1 in favour of less than three.

-If you replaced Beckett's haggis with vegetarian haggis, would he notice? Odds are 3:1 in favour. 2:1 in favour of him gagging.

-Major Sheppard will never get laid again. Odds are 3:1 in favour. 2:1 in favour of him looking elsewhere. 1:1 in favour of him looking to Doctor Crane. 1:1 in favour of him looking to Doctor Zelenka. 5:1 in favour of him looking to Doctor McKay.

-Sam is actually Major Sheppard's son. Odds are 2:1 in favour. 3:1 we can convince Beckett to do the test.